IF people have a disability you cant see is it wrong for them not to tell you frist?

Question

I came up on a lady and asked her to please move her car and I thought she was being rude by not answering me but she acted strange and said to me what is it you want and I said that I all ready told her and she got mad and asked me again ,and then I told her ok move your dam car she moved her car and said as she pulled out," Im deaf" and you did not have to be rude to me.

Answer 1

As a matter of courtesy you should have repeated your question, when asked, regardless of being death or not. As some people have said, we all at times have been deep in thought, when asked something, and not heard it.



I know a person who is death and she lip reads, and also looks and your facial expressions. She does NOT let everyone know she is death, in part she does not want people yelling at her, because they think they have to, to be understood, but she does not want people treating her any differently. The only time she will tell people if the room is large and noisy, and the lighting is poor, making it hard for her to read lips and facial expressions.



She told me once that if you smile when approaching any one, death or not you will always get a better response to any requests asked or made.

Answer 2

If she is deaf, how was she supposed to know that you spoke to her? And regard to your question- what do you want people to do - walk up to you for no reason and say "Excuse me, I have a disability and I am telling you just in case you need to communicate with me"? A bit of logic please!



NO ONE has to tell anyone they have a disability. Most people who have some form of disability WILL tell you when they need to - for example, if you were introduced to someone who is deaf, they will likely say "Please to meet you. You will need to speak up a little as I am partially deaf."



On rudeness - you "told her ok move your dam car " - well, deaf or not, would YOU have reacted the same way?



nuff said!

Answer 3

No its not wrong for people not to tell you if they have a disability. Why should they? That is why you shouldn't be rude to people. How would you like it if you were deaf, and someone was rude to you? Nobody has to tell you anything about them self unless they want to. So stop being rude to people. I hope you learned a lesson here. If you did, thats good. If you didn't, then you are the one with the problem.

Answer 4

She asked you for clarification, and you refused. Right there, you demonstrated that you wouldn't show the most basic courtesy to others. Whether or not the other person was disabled is totally irrelevant.



Nobody owes you any information about themselves. She did, however, engage in a polite manner. Because she recognized that you were attempting to interact with her, she asked what you wanted. She may well have heard or seen something without being able to understand your words. If she's a lip reader, she may have needed to be closer to you to understand you.



For goodness' sake - I'm not deaf, but I can't understand speech well when there's any background noise, unless I'm focusing on, close to, and looking at the person speaking. I probably would have had to ask you to repeat yourself, too!



In any case, you were asinine, and you really need to improve your manners and your compassion.



To the person who claims the woman wasn't deaf - you're simply showing an immense amount of ignorance.



As I understand it, there is an entire Deaf subculture. I'll leave it to a Deaf person, if one is present, to speak for them.

Answer 5

I have epilepsy, so i'm considered 'disabled'. I'm studying at uni, and getting good grades. Alot of people have the impression that because epilepsy has to do with the brain, I must be intellectually disabled. You can't tell if someone is epileptic just by looking at them. So do I go and tell everyone that i'm epileptic? I only tell people who need to need to know: friends in my tutes, teachers, etc. It's not everyone's business. And think about it could she have been playing with her deafness because you were rude, it's exactly the same as someone asking me how I got into TAFE or Uni assuming I had an intellectual disability as well.

Answer 6

Your reaction was rude. Just because she didn;t hear you the first time, deaf or not, you could have politely repeated the question instead of getting upset. I am not deaf, but do have hearing loss and when people come up behind or next to me and start talking I will quite often not hear them. It looks like I'm ignoring them when in fact I didn;t hear them and if they turn on me and get nasty it does make me mad. We all have our moments when we are distracted and don;t hear someone- would YOU like to be talked to like that if the positions were reversed?

Answer 7

well if she was deaf, if you had paid closer attention you shouldve been able to catch on that after you couldnt get ehr attention or after you had to repeat yourself more than once........also, you were also rude to her so what do you expect on her end as well and besides her speech would have been different if she was deaf so you should have picked up on that....and why should she have to tell you she was deaf?? why should anyone have to state their disability to someone if they dont want too??

Answer 8

How dare you judge innocent people. You are a embrassment to society. Plus she is deaf and does not know how loud she is talking. She was rights too you now. Your probably a stuck up know it all blond who picks on disabled people.

Answer 9

You and I should be more careful about what we say to a person. The person may have special needs. And not want to advertise to anyone about that fact. That's why I try to stay calm. Have you seen "Fried Green Tomatoes," ? It is hilarious. I wish I could come up with that answer that, "You may be younger but I've got more insurance."

Answer 10

where someone is deaf has mental health problems or other disabilities that you cant see it is the individuals choice as to wether it has anything to do with you try being civil and you may just get civility back

Answer 11

very funny dear if she wasn't disabled she wud have done it before u told her.well i'd like to saythat now a days resecting is being taught in schools get yur class nd learn the ways,may be u cud have done it more politely were u undersome tension.i guess u were b'coz youth now-a-days r getting polite.anywere don't repeat nextime.

Answer 12

Nobody has to share any information with you or with anybody else about a disability they might have. And you dont need to feel bad about not knowing they have one. What happened to you wasnt your fault or the ladies fault. You simply didnt know she was deaf.

Answer 13

Sounds like you are the one with the problem. You automatically assume everyone is "normal" and they owe you an explanation. Why not approach people with a more loving attitude until you learn more about them. Sounds like you owed that woman an apology.

Answer 14

Do you really think she needs to wear a shirt or hat that says "I'm deaf"?



There are all kinds of disablities, and not all of them are visiable. If she doesn't want to tell you, it's none of your business.



You were rude first.

Answer 15

no including sexual. i have fallen in love with very sexual women, and i have been hurt because i cant fulfill our intimate love needs thru intercourse. male lovers truth or not are measured thru our love tool. being a short thin lover is a disabilitysooner or later. my small love made me insecure now the women around me know sp its not a disability. i posed nude and exposd my disability. iam peacful now

Answer 16

The answer is no, why should anyone have to tell a perfect stranger their business. If she had the tags, or the hanging thing on her car..what business is it of yours.

Answer 17

no i don't think people with disability have to announce to everybody they meet what they're lacking of. Like everybody else they want to live their life normal as possible. People just need to be more patient whether it be normal or with disability.

Answer 18

From what you described, it sounds like you were quite rude to her - disability or not. Even if she had perfect hearing, just happened to be concentrating on something else and didn't hear what you said - you were out of line.

Answer 19

according to me it depends on the situation. first of all if someone (god forbids) is disable in one of his/her five senses than he should let it to be known to others before the situation goes out of control as just happened with you. however i know many disabled people who do not like people to feel pity for them just because they are disable. therefore they hide their shortcomings and can manage the difficult situations quiet well and magnificently. in fact they are so full of self esteem that they will not accept any outside help but at the same time they are not creating any sort of complications or problems for the general public. thus to conclude i would like to say that the situation through which you had gone was a desperate one and i wish that no one should go through that moreover it was rude on your part to have scolded her in that fashion. but sometimes situations do arise which stop us from thinking rationally if i had been in your situation i would have perhaps used a same tone and could have repent later when i came to know the truth.

Answer 20

That could happen to anyone. Should she be driving? Is what I'd want to know. Some people just get away with murder. She probably wasn't wearing her hearing aid. That said 90% of the disabled are not required to reveal their disability to others unless its causing problems for others.

Answer 21

Are you suggesting that I go around announcing that even though I don't look it I am disabled? That is what it sound like.

Answer 22

Well it is because of the inferiority complex created within them and also they don't want to show that they are like and out of that they don't want to gain any mercy.*



We has to adjust them, of course by understanding them.

Answer 23

You started it with "Dam." That is never necessary. No, she doesn't have to tell you. But your behavior should always err on the side of love, not personal rights.

Answer 24

She heard you finally. So I don't think she was deaf. Anyways, assuming that she had some problem with her ears, she could have told yo upolitely to speak a bit louder. You ought to develop some patience too.



All the best...



:-)

Answer 25

whatcha want her to do wear a sign that says "Hey, Im deaf,so i can't hear you" sounds to me like you were rude from the start

Answer 26

You just got own3d by her. Next time, be more respectful instead of asking ANYONE to "move their damn car."

Answer 27

It looks like a joke, however the response of peoples i mean their action behaviour tells us about the abnormality which needs to be dealt with accordingly.

Answer 28

it was a simple misunderstanding on both parts! perhaps you both could have learned something from it and move on. you could possibly learn to be a bit more patient. she could have learned that nobody is a mind readerand she needs to tell someone next time!

Answer 29

you sounded rude.

no one has to tell you anything.



why would you say "I already told you"?

there is no need for that, deaf or not.

Answer 30

nobody would like to say i am disabled

Answer 31

you were the rude one and deserved what you got. you probably weren't paying any attention to anything except yourself and the car

Answer 32

The people I know who are deaf usually tell you they are before making you repeat yourself 3 times. Could she have been lying just to mess with you?

Answer 33

You are thoughtful and she is senstive as a result of her disability.Some of them try to forget about their disability so they try to hide it. and act naturally

Answer 34

I'im with you. How were you suppose to know that she was deaf?

Answer 35

sounds like she was rude and deaf. a waste of flesh. Brush it off.

"uhh what?"

-Little John